Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bullies

I was raised in a home where I was taught to stay away from physical confrontations. In some cases, that was the right thing to teach us, but in others, it really wasn't. I was bullied when I was in junior high school. There were a group of mean girls who did really mean things to hurt me. I was super quiet and couldn't understand why they were so mean to me.

After a student/teacher intervention, it turns out, they were annoyed that I was quiet.


I learned from that experience that no matter what you do, you can't please everyone.

There was one girl who always stood up for me no matter what. She never yelled at them. But she did physically grab my shoulder and turned me away from them. She would tell me "don't listen to them. Let's go." Her name was Karla.


I am a youtube video maker. I do it for fun and I love to share my ideas and styles with anyone who is willing to watch.

I spend my own money to make the videos. Meaning, if I want to make a video that includes a yellow ribbon, I go out to a store like Michael's and I buy a yellow ribbon for about $5. If I want to make a hairstyle that includes a flat iron, I go out and I buy a flat iron for $50-$100. Either way, it's my money and I spend it. For what? So that people who want free information on how to do something that I know how to do, can learn from me. I enjoy helping people and I don't charge for my information :)

I was recently offered the opportunity to put my videos out for rent (on youtube) I decided not to because I know that it's not fair to OBLIGATE my viewers to PAY to watch my videos. It's just not fair to all budgets. My videos are FREE and I want them to always be free.

So, along comes a wonderful company that says, "Hey! How about we send you the tools you are already buying and all you have to do is give us credit in your videos?" This makes a lot of sense to me. I mean, if I say no to them, I will still have to buy the tools I need with my own money right? I would actually take a lot longer to produce videos because I would have to save up to buy a new product for each video. Instead, I am being sent products to create hair styles for my viewers and am posting them more frequently. PERFECT!

Now, I know there is a lot of back and forth controversy about this topic. Viewers HATE seeing product placements in videos.

If you are one of those who hates product placements, let me get into this for a little bit and give you a change of perspective:

1) These videos I am producing for you are almost FREE. You don't ever have to pay me for any information that I put out. And a lot of this information is in magazines, or television shows etc. I give it away, sometimes at MY expense. The reason they are not completely free is because you have to pay back with listening to me mention a website OR with advertisements blocking your view.

2) There is very little free mass information available. This means, if you read about information from a magazine, you have to either pay for the subscription, or flip through advertisements to get to the page you want to read. If you watch television shows about information you love, you still have to sit through commercials. If you watch "no commercial" cable shows, you have to pay for cable. This goes for the you tube gurus.

3) Companies and guru collaborations on youtube are the way of the future. Just like most people are online nowwadays, instead of watching television. It makes more sense to place commercials and ads in their videos. Everyone wins: Company gets their products placed. Youtube producers get the tools they need. The viewer gets the information they want for free.

4) You are NEVER obligated to pay for the product listed in the video. This goes without saying. However, some people find the tools very cool and sometimes buy the products! I get emails or comments from people thanking me for turning them to a new styling tool. This is the same type of response I would get from a girlfriend about a product I recommended outside of the internet and in real life.

Ok so back to bullies. I get a lot of negative comments on my videos. Sometimes I approve the legitamate ones like: "I don't like this style" or "Hmm your camera is off to the side too much."
These are ok, because I can learn from them. But, when I get personal comments about my face or body etc...I don't approve them. Why? Because they are just mean and I don't have to approve them. That's why :)

I always hear people say "Don't pay attention to those. They are just jealous or hating." Yes, that is always the case when someone is mean.

But I recently ran into a video by Sccastaneda. I couldn't believe that the website she directed us to was real. I went to check it out and there was cruel stuff was written about me. I actually went in there and I thanked 2 people for standing up for me. It was very nice. Those two people were my "Karla" and I am glad that they exist.



I will continue to focus on the positive things in my life. I have wonderful viewers who keep up with me, read my blogs and watch my videos. I especially love those that send me instant messages or messages just to say hi and ask how I am doing!

I am glad that I have a nice company who sends me tools to continue to make videos for you. I love making videos and hope to make MORE AND MORE until you all tell me that I am too old looking and need to use my grand daughter, as a model instead :)

Thanks for your support for those of you who love my videos as much as I love to make them!

16 comments:

Temperamental Broad said...

I was just looking at that site and its crazy!!! Why would anyone waste their time trashing gurus on YouTube? I mean do they not have anything else to do? And if they hate them them so much why do they continue to watch?? I think they are just jealous that they don't have the skills that the gurus do so they trash them to make themselves feel better. Isnt that what most bullies do? Besides, your videos are great so I have no idea where they're getting all that from.

Leia said...

I'm sorry to hear that people have been bullying you Iris! You are such a sweetheart. Hugs.

luckydame said...

I'm sorry about the online bullies. That's just lame. Here's hoping today is a better day for you!!!

Elsie Dollheart said...

Just compare the amount of negative comments you get with the amount of positive comments! You're a really admirable person so don't let the minute number of haters get you down.

Ms. Ramos said...

Those bullies are just jealous. I can relate to your stories about bullies. I too was being bullied as a child but now I look at it as this, these people have nothing better to do than to put people down. They are wasting their time on trying to make other people feel bad. For the victim as I have been, I there are better things to focus on and be grateful for in life.

You are a beautiful person. Thank you and great job for sharing your story, videos, and your style, they have been helpful for me.

I enjoy experimenting different hairstyles that you have demonstrated.

Stephanie said...

You're an inspiring sweet and well spoken woman. I was bullied too as a kid and I had a Karla too. I never forgot her and still talk about her to this day. Be yourself and don't let them deter you from doing what you love.

Stephanie

jewlover2 said...

no way in heck I would visit that site...I totally dont need the negativity. :)

Charm said...

Nice blog! makes me want to put on nautica and go sailing! i.e the vintage feel to it! you are hilarious! keep it up :)

Stephanie said...

Those people are haters! Don't for let those people bother you....really those people seriously don't have a life..lol!

God Bless
SM

DollyClaudia said...

Iris, you're incredible!
its unbelieveable that people talk trash about those who give so much to them like you! and foolish teenagers who bully for jelousy or ridiculous reasons like "being quiet" you're great Iris! never forget that!

DollyClaudia said...

Iris, you're incredible!
its unbelieveable that people talk trash about those who give so much to them like you! and foolish teenagers who bully for jelousy or ridiculous reasons like "being quiet" you're great Iris! never forget that!

Gabriella said...

It's sad that bullies never go away in life, even and especially on the internet...they always find people to bother. But, what can you do...so many more people love you than not :) Also, I think it's fine for a company to send you free tools or whatever. I always find great products from watching beauty guru videos and if they hadn't been sent those products, I may have never found them. Love your blog too! <3

CherryB said...

I just recently started watching your Videos. I love them and they have helped me out alot >;-) you are so beautiful and sweet, and Jealousy is very ugly. For every one bullie there are more Supporters. Keep it up!

PaperDoll said...

Why the hell would someone say mean things about you? That's so unjustified, so childish!
And, if you want my opinion, you did the right thing accepting the free tools - who cares about the advertisements on your videos, if we can still watch them for free!

PaperDoll said...

Why the hell would someone say mean things about you? That's so unjustified, so childish!
And, if you want my opinion, you did the right thing accepting the free tools - who cares about the advertisements on your videos, if we can still watch them for free!

Grizelde said...

Iris!!first of all THANK YOU for taking the time to make those videos,having patients & making them so easy for us newbies to understand,and second of all THANK YOU for accepting the product placement hhehehe it helped me try out a new flat iron that was on sale the other day!! =) don;t worry too much we viewers send you good vibes & much love Even my husband watches your videos and says you're my inspiration Many many thanks!!!!!!!!!!1

What I do

I make hair tutorials on YouTube. But I created this blog to connect with my fellow writers/bloggers. I've also created a myspace account, but I don't like the format for blogging. I'd rather blog here. As far as something to note about me: I rarely have will power when it comes to dieting. I'd rather eat what I want, but in moderation. I like girly stuff, but I don't like doing my own hair. I rarely do my own hair, so if you saw me in the street, you'd probably not recognize me. But if you ever saw me, I would love it if you came to say hi. Thanks for reading my blogs.